I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music