just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
only if we run a train.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.