my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
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It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.