somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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