I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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