Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
