So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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