You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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