..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
