I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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