Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
