margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
