I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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