Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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