When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
