dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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