I think i peed on brittanys purse
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize