Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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