She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
