Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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