last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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