Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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