Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
