im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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