i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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