You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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