Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
