Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
