I love black thongs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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