I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Watching her eat just hurts me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
