he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
