I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
