I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
