last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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