is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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