we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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