First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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