Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
