we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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