i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
