Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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