arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize