He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ketchup is God's man juice
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize