Where are you?
In a non slutty way
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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