threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize