i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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