Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
