You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
