Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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