Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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