How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
