In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
