Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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