No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
