i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
