Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
