thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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