Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize