You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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