You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
