We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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