So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it was like eating out sand paper
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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