just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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